About a year ago, I started thinking about having a baby. I knew that I wanted to have a child, but I wasn't sure if my husband was ready. However, after a great discussion with my hubby, I could tell that it was time. We started looking into different options, and I found a great team of professionals who could help. After we tried for a few months, we went in for our appointment, and I was pleased to learn that I was pregnant. It was really special to learn about our little one, and before we knew it, we were inviting our little one into the world. This website is all about starting your family with the help of a great doctor.
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A sobering study has revealed that couples who struggle with infertility have a divorce rate nearly three times higher than other couples. While not all infertility is curable, there are still some steps you can take to minimize the long-term impact on your marriage and preserve your partnership with your spouse. Read on to learn more about why infertility is so harmful to many marriages and what you can do to bolster your own while going through a trying time.
Why Is Infertility Bad for Marriages?
Certain life events, including the death of a close family member, a cross-country move, a job change, or a chronic illness, can add so much stress to your mental state that it makes it harder for you to connect with your loved ones. This heightened stress can even make you sick. Infertility has been added to this list of traumatic life events, but unlike some other situations, its pervasive and ongoing nature can make it tough for many to move past it.
If you're dealing with fertility-related troubles in your own marriage, you may find that thoughts of infertility are a constant mental presence. Seeing other couples with babies, pregnant women, or even advertisements targeted to children can be like a slap in the face, reminding you of what you can't have. Women often experience these emotions more strongly than men, and their partners may feel at a loss when it comes to providing comfort.
Over time, this can drive a wedge into even the strongest relationship, causing couples to drift apart, as each feels that the other just can't understand where they're coming from. In other cases, one partner may resent the other or feel as though moving on is their only way to achieve their dreams of having a child.
How to Protect Your Marriage
While the challenges presented by infertility can be significant, they don't have to mean the death of your marriage. There are a few things you can do to boost communication and empathy and ensure that you and your spouse are being adequately heard.
The first is to seek outside counseling at the first sign of cracks in your marriage, or, in some cases, before you even notice problems. Having a neutral sounding board can be crucial for both spouses, as the emotional rollercoaster of infertility can often make it difficult to communicate honestly. By having someone who can reframe your feelings in a way your spouse can truly "hear," you'll ensure that you're not being unfairly blamed for a misinterpretation of your comments (or even of your silence).
It's also a good idea to begin to focus on outward things you can do to reduce stress. This often means exercising, taking up a hobby, or joining a new group. When you're in the throes of infertility, thoughts of conception can be all-encompassing. Focusing on outside hobbies can give your brain some breathing room and, over time, help you become less preoccupied with infertility worries.
Click to read more information about infertility doctors who can help.
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